A Student’s Tasteful Take on Being Yourself
By Michele Walsky | Observer Contributor
Photo by Betsabee Torres
“C’mon, Oreos, be yourself,” my teen daughter exclaimed down the aisle last spring.
She has a point. How are we supposed to be brave and love who we are? How do we teach our kids it is okay to be your quirky self if America’s Favorite Cookie is waffling on who they are?
Now, I am not abhorring Oreos (No hate, just ate…a bunch) and I admit I have not tried most of the madcap mashups. I just appreciate its humble beginnings. But hey, at least the funny flavors shake up a shopping trip. The first crazed culprit we spied was Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Candies; you know, the Red Hots you used to sprinkle on cupcakes or give out with school valentines? Hiding next in sheep’s clothing was Peeps! Um, hate to break it to you Oreo, but that gig is already taken. And the same goes for jelly beans’ newest sidekick Carrot Cake! I wonder if the Trix rabbit would fall for those.
For years we have witnessed the integrity of Oreo’s OG slipping away. I understand it is bandwagon marketing and we all want to spice things up now and then. After all, spreading out with diversity and new experiences is how we grow. But Oreo may be having growing pains.
First Double Stuff…genius. Double yum. Who doesn’t want more o’ the stuff when our teeth scrape off the cream? Fluff enuf said, until we recently were treated like the cream-of-the crop when The MOST Stuff pied the ceiling this year!
And sure, include the Chocolate Filled and the Golden Oreos. Go ahead, mix and match those. All good, still sane. And let us be festive with those colorful Holiday creams. And when life hands you …you know…well, the Lemon ones are tartfully smart.
Peanut Butter…Okay, I can see the merge. It makes sense, especially after the 1998 remake of The Parent Trap. Fess up—you dunked your original Oreos into a jar when you watched, didn’t you? My son and I sure did.
But then it starts getting ridiculous.
Birthday Cake…Eh, sounds a bit like jumping on the ice cream man’s bandwagon, but the kid is a fan. Oh, Berry Burst Ice-Cream? I spoke too soon. Impostor! Marshmallow Crispy? Step off Rice Krispy Treats turf, please. (After all the arm-breaking trouble of stirring the mix, we deserve the real thing!) Two we have tried: Banana Split and the results were, err, split. Daughter liked it, me–bleh, not with bananas over it. And Neapolitan, I thought it would be good, but also sickening. Again, it is hijacking the freezer. Are you a cookie or a mouse? Or maybe a frozen mousse?
And in the summer, Watermelon? The produce section is right there when you walk in! Just sayin’. Then there is Cookie Dough. Okay, getting back in the right lane. Then this happened: Cookies and Cream. Um, they are just humoring us, right? Perhaps that is what they have been doing all along, but I’m glad Oreo did some soul-searching with that one.
Now we are on a roll… Cinnamon Bun. Probably good but I am not sure I want chocolate slamming down and power wrestling with the taste. Nothing beats a warm pastry converging into a cinnamon center. Alright, you got me on this next one. We did splurge and buy the Dunkin Donuts Mocha–twice! Delicioso, but very sweet! It would go great with milk or, ironically, coffee. Perhaps they are trying to rally cookies for breakfast? I admire their moxie.
There are a whole slew of surreal fusions I could not possibly cover without writing another book. A friend just reminded me about Pop Rocks! I like the retro nod to the eighties, but a snack foaming at the mouth? Maybe the effect is lost in the cookies and cream.
Last year, our graphic designer, Tom, enlightened me on a Mystery flavor that was Fruity Pebbles, which was not hard to pull over anyone’s eyes.
Trying on coats of many colors to find the right fit and flair is admirable and necessary except when it is used as camouflage. When all is said and done, or when the cookie crumbles, we should stick to our strengths, our roots, our original fillings. Be proud. Is that not the moral to every story? You are great the way you are, especially a classic who does not need to change at all.
Comments are closed.